MOAA: First Impressions

What's MOAA? Read the other MOAA posts to find out. This entry is one I was kinda hesitant to post because I no longer feel as strongly about the things I mention here now compared to back then. But for the sake of complete-ness, I decided to post this anyway. Note my bad habit of using too many parentheses... That's one way of distinguishing my old style of writing from my current one.

Vibe. What comes to your mind when encounter this word? To me, I live by it. If I were to get a tattoo (highly unlikely considering my circumstances), I would probably have the word "Vibe" tattooed above my right hip bone in a cursive font. (That's a random fact about me for you...) My definition of vibe is basically a first impression but expounded upon with time and observation.

You know how people say if you give a good first impression, you've already won half the battle? Well, I think this applies not only to job interviews but to life in general as well. Envisage this: there's a person sitting at the back of the classroom, his shoulder-length hair looks so dishevelled it seemed unwashed for months. His oversized brown shirt had holes you could put fists through, and his shorts seemed like they had been worn on a pig rolling around in mud for a week. He wore slippers looking like they were on the edge of disintegrating and he had no personal belongings whatsoever. Now, would you ever think this man as a HOD (head of department) sitting in during a lesson conducted by a trainee teacher, or a homeless man who snuck into the school for some unknown reason? Obviously, a rational person would choose the latter, unless this is the beginning of a plot twist where I say that man is actually a drama teacher demonstrating the art of disguise...

Bluntly put, this shows that people judge others, subconsciously whether or not you like it. Sure, "judging" has come to have a negative connotation nowadays, but it's not always a bad thing. Let's say you're up against a more intelligent person than yourself, competing for a "seems smart" award (I made that up, please don't take it seriously). The judges involved don't have both of your academic qualifications, thank goodness for you, so it's all up to how you present yourself. Similarly, in the real world, there are bound to be people who are better than you in every way possible, so the only way you're going to be given a chance to prove your worth is if you give an impressive first impression (or vibe as I call it).

I'm not afraid to say that I judge people continuously on a daily basis. However, I don't just limit it to the first few seconds of seeing someone new. If you assert your opinion of someone within seconds of seeing him, that's not a healthy habit (especially if you always have negative opinions of others). This is how I do it: I keep a person's first impression at the back of my mind while I reserve judgment. Then as I notice the person more and more, I build a profile (also known as his/her vibe) of that person in my head. If I get a chance to know that person personally, then I can "judge" for myself if he or she is who I thought he or she was.

Sure, it may seem complicated, but this is a much better way "judge" someone than the conventional "stop, stare and gossip" version.

I've realised over time that my vibe has very strong effects on others. And well, I'm not sure if it's a good thing. On one hand, people are given the impression that I'm really cool, like the hip-hop kinda cool, and that I have a strong personality. While it's great that my character shines through my "cool" outer surface, some people tend to have a preconceived notion about me and expect me not to fit in with people who are not like me. I gathered this information from the fact that I have failed pretty much every interview I have participated in throughout my seventeen years of living on this earth.

In one case, the interviewer actually told me afterwards that "my vibes and spirit doesn't really suit" the interest group that I wanted to get into. At that moment, I was literally bawling my eyes out about how my medicine was unbelievably bitter (did you get that? Taste of my own "vibe-judging" medicine?;)) But from what I heard subsequently about those who were accepted, I realised the interviewer was right, and that I probably would have been miserable if I got accepted. There was another time I was rejected for a leadership position I really wanted but I wasn't told the reasons why I was unsuitable for it. I thought long and hard about it (and this is just speculation) so I think it was because I just didn't portray the right image they wanted (leaving me with zero leadership points so far, which is a huge cause for worry in my situation).

My failures were what spurred me to write this entry and to give you a heads up about the importance of first impressions (in case you've never got rejected before).

"I do hope you maintain personal hygiene and fashion discretion at all times, keeping your eyes wide open to appear awake and alert. Thank you for your kind attention." ~me

Cover image from here, by artist Victor Teodoro.